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07 October 2011 @ 12:47 am
Fic: Untitled (for right now)  
Hi, we all know who I am and what I'm doing. Feel free to suggest titles, titling things is my weakest point. Still NC-17, it gets fairly angsty, but then the fluffmonster bit me. Set after "The Girl Who Waited".

The sixth time River came to Amy, she almost needed a subscription for all the issues.

"In my bed. Now."

"Yes, my love." River trotted upstairs from the front door without asking questions. She'd get to them later, when Amy felt like answering. Which one was this?

Amy closed and locked the door behind her, then headed up after River.

River had kicked off her shoes and was beginning to undress when Amy came in. "No, stop that."

"Sorry?" River turned and dropped her hands.

"I want to do it," said Amy.

"Ooh, yes please." River smiled and hoped her lover would open up soon. If she only knew which fiasco had just happened, she could help Amy deal with it.

Amy pulled River's shirt off quickly. "I'm still a cardboard prop."


"I hate myself for just crying and waiting for the boys to come rescue me."

"What happened?"

"36 years of nothing, apparently, because they wouldn't save me. They didn't come, in that universe. And they left the other me there to die anyway."

Oh, fuck. River Song rarely cursed, but this was certainly the occasion for it. "I wish I had an explanation for you."

Amy unhooked River's bra and slid it down her arms. "I wish you did, too. But kind of glad you don't. You're complicated, River. But you don't expect me to be complicated with you."

"No, my love. My timeline is my own, and I couldn't wish it on my worst enemy."

Amy unzipped River's skirt and let it fall to the floor. "I believe I hate the Doctor." But I believe I love your nice habit of forgetting your knickers when you visit.

"You don't."

"The TARDIS didn't drive herself away from older me, I know that much."

"What did he say?"

"That two of us couldn't exist in the TARDIS at once. But we did, once. It's just one of me wasn't old and bitter against him that one time." Amy pushed River onto the bed, not forcefully but still firmly.

"Amy, you may have it wrong," began River.

"Shut up, sweetie," said Amy, in a tone that bordered on dangerous. "Don't defend him now. I'll start to think you aren't really mine."

River shut her mouth. She traced down Amy's neck with light fingertips.

"Would you like to get me out of these things?"

River nodded and smiled. She loved undressing Amy. Every time felt like a special gift just for her.

"You are allowed to talk, you know. Just not about either of those idiots."

"May I ask where the one you're married to is?"

"Don't know and don't care. Told him to bugger off til tomorrow. He knows I'm cross, and I knew you were coming. I'm sure he's somewhere. Probably banging around the TARDIS in a sulk, or down at his mates'."

River raised her eyebrows. Really. "And you're fine with that?"

"It's Leadworth. Now quit it. You've got better things to do."

River pulled Amy down and kissed her, wanting her to know that it would end up all right, as it always did.

Amy let herself be kissed and enjoyed River leading, because she was a very, very good kisser. Right up there with Amy herself, actually, and that was saying a lot.

"I have missed you very much," said River, moving to kiss and nip at Amy's neck while tugging up her jumper.

"How long for you?" Amy asked, bracing herself against the bed and letting River do as she would.

"Too long, always," River murmured against Amy's throat.

Amy caught one of River's hands in hers, then turned it to look at the wrist. Perfect, unbroken skin.

"I heal quickly," said River, looking up at Amy. "But it has been too long."

Amy brought River's wrist up to her mouth and kissed it. "Do we travel for too long with the Doctor?"

"No. Fighting my own timeline is what causes the skips. But as long as I don't leave you too long, I can suffer."

Amy's look turned predatory. "I like when you suffer for me...when I can see it."

River smiled back. "I like suffering on your terms rather than time's."

Amy released River's hand. "You may yet. But keep up what you were doing."

River wound her legs around Amy's hips. "Don't interrupt me, then." The jumper came off a moment later and then River's arms were about Amy's neck, holding her close as River kissed her deeply.

Amy lost her balance and fell on top of River, but she managed to put out her hands to spare most of her weight dropping suddenly on her lover. "Oi!"

"Mm, I can still work from here," said River, busily unfastening Amy's skirt. She knew the tights/knickers at once trick cold now, and soon enough there ceased to be anything separating them from each other.

"Why does my life revolve around him?" Amy asked as they settled in, curling around each other in a familiar way on the bed.

"Because you love him, and you married him," said River. "Love is rarely rational, and can make us do all manner of things we wouldn't otherwise consider."

"You would know," whispered Amy.

"Intimately," said River. She brought her lips to Amy's again and was suddenly swept away by a fierce wave of passion coming from the redhead.

Amy felt herself about to cry again, over that stupid face she'd had the impudence to marry, and decided that trying to lose herself in River's love was a better idea. She tangled her hands in River's curls (so long, why were they so much longer than when they met her with the Doctor?) and held on, knowing River would respond favourably.

River inhaled sharply when she felt Amy pull her hair, but it became clear to her that, again, she was therapy for her beloved. I wish he didn't do these things to you, my love... She rolled Amy on her back and kept kissing her, forcing her lead and trying to get Amy to respond with more than just feverish, almost manic intensity.

Amy kept trying to breathe but also push River for more, to kiss harder, to bruise her mouth even, so maybe those stupid gits would ask questions and stop treating her like a fragile doll. She had to stop thinking of herself as they did!

"No, love," said River, breaking away. "If anyone hurts tonight, it must be me."

"And if I want to suffer?" Amy's voice cracked.

"Not the way you wish right now," said River firmly. "I need not explain injuries to anyone. You, on the other hand, must."

Amy let out her breath in a hiss. "I'm not a doll."

"Anything but, my love."

"Why are we all convinced I'll break?"

"They have convinced you."

"I was your doll in the Byzantium."

"You were not who you are now. Amy, people change. You have changed so much. Maybe certain people don't realize that."

"I still end up waiting, though!"

"This time you did. But not every adventure is the same."

"What do you mean?"


Amy growled. "I hate that word!"

River let a shiver visibly ripple through her. "I love when you do that."

"Can you just snog me til I ask you to stop?"


Amy pulled River's head back down and kissed her hard. She tasted blood after the smash of lips and teeth, but she couldn't tell whose it was and she didn't care.

River sank the fingers of one hand into Amy's hair, tangling them there. She pulled firmly. There, my love. It won't show later. See how you like that.

Amy moaned and bucked her hips upwards, refusing to let go of River's lips or curls.

River smiled inwardly and pressed her body down against Amy's, whose moans quickly turned into needy whimpers as she couldn't find the friction she craved. River pulled Amy's hair again and felt the retaliatory, rather frantic tugging of her own hair which made her grind her hips into Amy's almost reflexively.

"Ri-ver," Amy whined against her lover's lips, "you wouldn't leave me, would you?"

"I couldn't," said River, answering in all honesty. Even knowing the consequences, I couldn't.

"Why could they?" Amy pulled River's hair with both hands.

"I don't know, my love." River kissed the hollow at Amy's throat. "I don't know everything."

"Why can't you?"

"Because I'm just me. God knows I would be anything you wanted, if only I could."

"You'd save me."

"I wouldn't be able to help myself."

"It's always him I default to."

"Love is strange and often irrational."

"But I love you!"

"As I love you."

Amy screamed and let go of River's hair, hiding her face in her hands and curling up on her side. As River pulled away to allow Amy to reposition herself, she heard the anguished sobbing coming from the redhead.

"Oh, my love, don't do that, please..." River laid down behind Amy and wrapped both arms around her. Goddamn it, he's messed up my life since the day I was born!

"I can't help it, I can't stop!" Amy felt River draw her closer. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..."

"No, my love. You need someone and I am here," said River, infusing her voice with all the comfort she could muster.

"This isn't how we're supposed to be," Amy sobbed.

"How are we supposed to be?" River gathered Amy's hair away from her neck and tucked it underneath her. "I've only ever wanted to be near you."

"We're not supposed to be complicated! I'm not supposed to be complicated!"

River kissed Amy's neck gently. "I couldn't love you as much as I do if you weren't so complicated, Amy."

Amy kept crying. "How can you keep doing this, River? When I'm so broken?"

"Because I love fixing you up. I also have no choice."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm still powerless against you, my love. It's the one thing that doesn't change in my life. I'll keep coming to you til you toss me out."

Amy hissed. "Only an idiot would!" She turned in River's arms and cupped the older woman's face in both her hands. "I couldn't toss you out."

River smiled. "Then I'm yours til the end of time."

"Don't say things you can't promise."

"I was yours before you even knew me, Amy. You don't know how long."

"Tell me."


Amy gritted her teeth and pulled her hands back to herself. "That word. That stupid bloody word."

"You know how to shut me up."

Amy's upper lip curled. "Maybe you've forgotten what it feels like to suffer."

"Only let me show you."

"I don't know what I need right now."

"I'll do anything for you, my sweet Amy. Just ask."

"I needed to be saved."

River sighed. "The TARDIS will tell me when and where if I ask her next time we see each other. I'll go."

"No, you'll be caught, the bots will get you. You can't go there, you can't go there!" Amy's eyes welled up again.

River just hugged her tightly in response.

Amy let herself go, then. She let herself grieve for the woman she became, the woman she never knew, the impossibility. Was that woman really impossible? Was the whole thing an exercise in the Doctor showing her what a weak, fragile thing he thought--no, knew--her to be? She couldn't be the Amy who killed robots with a samurai sword. Rory didn't save her, because that's what he didn't want her to be. The Doctor locked the TARDIS door on her, because he knew she was impossible. He killed the impossibility, trying to kill whatever courage she had left. Amy tried to scream again, but it locked in her throat as an angry, feral growl between sobs. "I HATE HIM!"

"No, you don't, my love."

The calm voice almost mocked her, Amy thought. "Yes I do, because it's your stupid boyfriend's fault I am this way!" Amy tried to push away, but River did not let her. "I've been waiting for him since I was a child, and now I am the weak little paper doll he always wanted me to be! Little Amelia Pond, don't ask questions and don't wander off, just stay there and be sweet for the Raggedy Doctor!"

"You are not, you never have been," said River firmly. "If you were a paper doll, you would accept what's been done. You would just accept it and wait."

"I did wait!"

"You didn't accept it. You spent 36 years fighting the fate that wanted to come for you."

Amy snuffled, since she couldn't think of a good retort and snotting all over her lover was not the good type of kink in her mind.

"You're a fighter, Amy. You'll fight for what you love, however you can."


"Paper dolls are just silly little toys, they're not people."

"They weren't silly when I was small."

"Apologies, love. But they're still not people. Least of all you."

Amy snuggled against River, trying to calm her body down. "You're the only one who believes that."

"What about you, my love? Do you believe you're a paper doll?"

Amy sighed. "No, I don't. I hate that he's trying to make me believe it. And stupid face just goes along with whatever he says."

River cuddled her closer. "Just keep proving him wrong."

"I hate him. I'm done traveling with him."

"I can't hate him. He's responsible for creating me."

"I believe that responsibility rests with others..."

"Well, the TARDIS, then. She created me. And they're a package deal."

Amy sighed. "All of space and time, and I get stuck with the asshole." And quite possibly the strangest, most wonderful relationship anyone's ever encountered, she added silently.

"Is it really so bad?"

"I do have you as a result of it, so no, not all bad. It's just rather frightening to know that if I ever stop being a sweet paper dolly, I'll get left behind."

"Not true!" River squeezed her tightly.

"Air," gasped Amy after a second.

River relaxed her hold. "I'm sorry, my love." She frowned. "But it's not true. There are two people who would kill him if you were truly left behind."

"Haven't you already done that?"

River cursed silently. Shit! Watch your mouth, Song!

Amy sighed. "I don't know how to cope with this. All I do know is that I made them drop me at home because I wanted you."

River kissed her gently. "Please tell me what I can do, my love. I can't bear seeing you like this."

Amy closed her eyes when River's lips met hers, and kept them shut. "I don't know. But I need you."

River sighed. "I am yours, Amy. I'm here, and I'll stay as long as you want me to."

"Stay the night."

"Of course. I wouldn't leave you now." River kissed her again, still soft and gentle.

"I want to be needed for who I am, not some ideal I'll never match."

"I need you," River whispered. "Just as you are."

Amy opened her eyes to gaze into River's. "I love you."

"As I love you."

Amy shivered then, and cuddled closer to River.

"Cold, darling?"

"A little. I'm sorry."

River managed to yank the duvet free from the end of the bed using her toes then leaned up to pull it over them both, settling back next to Amy and tucking the duvet in around her. "Better?"

"Yes," said Amy softly, rearranging herself so she laid comfortably in River's arms, slipping her leg between both of River's.

"You are so unbelievably sweet, my dear Amy," said River, kissing her nose.

"I know this isn't what you wanted," Amy began.

"Nonsense. You need someone, I am here, and I love you," said River quickly. "I can't complain, you're about to drift to sleep in my arms and it's wonderful."

"Not sleeping yet," said Amy. "Just...feeling safe."

"Good, exactly what I want." River really didn't mind being simply Amy's cuddly toy for the night, but she still rather blamed her other love, the Doctor, for ruining her evening.

Amy smiled. "You lie."

"Rule number one."

"Don't recall you applying that to yourself."

"Now you do."

Amy kissed her. "Stubborn child."

"I get it from the best."

Amy closed her eyes suddenly. "Ugh, my head hurts."

"Doesn't surprise me. Do you need a damp cloth?"

"If you think you're getting out of this bed--"

"Scrap the idea, yes yes." River kissed Amy's forehead. "If you sleep, it should go away."

"You're here, though."

"And I'll still be here when you wake."

"Promise?" Amy's voice didn't hold steady for that one.

"Cross my heart," River whispered.

"But I don't want..."

"You've never slept in my arms, yet I've slept in yours. Unfair advantage."

"Are you negotiating with me, River Song?"

River smiled. "Perhaps."

"You're impossible."

"When I want my way, yes. Don't make me pull the pouty face."

Amy giggled. "You? Pouty face? This I've got to see."

River did indeed pout, looking both sultry and sullen at once.

"Oh, stop, I'll kiss it off."

River blinked and deepened the pout, trying to not to bust it up with a cheeky smile.

"You asked for it," said Amy, kissing her, catching River's bottom lip between her teeth.

River hummed happily as she returned the affection. Now you're the Amy I know.

"Let me get rid of this headache," said Amy after they finally let go of each other's lips, "and I'll get back to business."

River smiled. "Anything you wish, my love."

"It'll be worth the wait, you'll see." Amy closed her eyes and snuggled up.

"Anticipation is a killer, but I'll expect the best," River purred.

"Mm...you'll see..."

Amy fell asleep shortly thereafter, and River eventually dozed off herself. She knew Amy would wake her--hopefully with a kiss and the promise of more to come.
Flicka Whipfemme_slash_fan on October 7th, 2011 05:38 pm (UTC)
... I love it. (I need my muse to behave now, please... still writing my epic Amy/River smutfest)
tiddlypomtiddlypom on October 8th, 2011 10:17 am (UTC)
I ma so glad there are people still writing this. :)
Riddler: Doctor who - Amy Pondwolfoflonliness on October 10th, 2011 09:35 pm (UTC)
I love this and you are the best for still writing this pairing.